I've been away from blogging for a while yet again, but exams are coming and I had to prepare, get ready and just take it easy so that I wouldn't strain myself.
And to tell you the truth guys there is A LOT to talk about! What I have done all this time when I wasn't writing my blog! It's going to be about my old vacation to walking dead talks to jokes to some serious talks so I hope you guys will enjoy!
Vacation
So I few weeks ago, probably a month or two ago I went to the mountains my parents to take some nice snowmobile driving. I drove about 100km myself! All alone! Without any passenger or help! I also drove 120km/h! So I am actually very proud of myself.
For those who didn't know, I have legit license for driving a snowmobile!
Bonding
So I have bonded a little with my mom a few weeks ago. I never had a chance to bond a little with my mom and try to connect with her, but then we decided that we should, so we went out shopping and trying out new stuff and checking out the new shops that have opened in Utopia. First I showed her the yogurt-ice-cream place and we tried it out and then we went to the Coffee House and ordered some good stuff! We were expecting something like Starbucks, and it was something LIKE, Starbucks, but sadly not the actual Starbucks, no Frappuccino for us! ;(((
Some Random Fashion.
I love the fluff and I love the nail-polish, sadly I expected more WOW from the nail-polish.
Just another random everyday outfit I had once.
Before School
After School
Any Other Day
Well any other day for me is basically a lot of sweets like jelly and chocolate and ice-cream at home while watching my fav series, How I Met Your Mother.
And the day came that I had to finish the series and I also saw the alternative ending which sucked because for those who have already seen it, [SPOILER ALERT] I hated the fact that Robin and Barney divorced and how their life completely changed. I was happy for Ted, he's so awesome I just love that character he's total romantic and adorable and basically every girls dream but I was somewhat expecting a little bit more towards the ending. Like more, romance, more sadness more crying and so on but oh well!
I didn't like the ending at all, I wanted Robin and Barney to stick together for a long time, (forever) but let's just pretend I didn't see the ending!
University
Ok here comes the big shit.
So as you know I had recently applied for a university that require auditions. It was an acting university.
I was very psyched for it and I was expecting good results.
I picked a monologue that was close to me and a monologue that fit me well and I understood the concept, feeling and message in it for me to be able to perform it well.
Acting is basically everything for me. When it comes to English I have the most easiest way to express myself and I react faster for actions so that nothing would become dull when it comes to improvisation. I made a few videos of my talking about everything I had endured that day in Luleå Town. I didn't wear any make-up FYI, because I was tired and I was very nervous and didn't have any time to think about something as stupid as make-up at that time. PLUS I must say also that my health is not in the best condition but believe me guys, that will all change!
After a long 4 hour drive we came to a place called CitySleep where I can sleep over instead of driving all night, we came a day earlier.
It was a cute place to be in but sadly I wasn't able to sleep all night. The stress and nervousness was catching up to me!
After we were done leaving our stuff there we decided to go to town and eat something.
First thing was MAX.
I never liked MAX for some reason, then I just tried it because it was late and the only place that was open.
I noticed that you can get SO many choices from MAX now!
So I like that place!
I ordered a salad because all this time I see how everyone eats salad and I don't like it, not even having a reason!
So now I LOVE salad!
Then there was of course milkshakes or luxyshake or whatever it's called!
The day came.
And my audition started.
I gotta say I was pretty nervous but then I got used to it.
In a way I didn't really feel that safe and comfortable there.
Mainly because the building was so empty and not that much space.
After all that crap I went to, sadly I didn't make it.
I didn't pass to the second test, which kind of sucked.
I admit I cried because I didn't want it to end so fast, because acting is something I know I'm good at, and now it felt like all along I was WRONG.
That I'm NOT good at acting and I never will be.
That I don't have the body for it.
The face.
The voice.
Many thoughts rushed to my head, because it was always been my dream to be an actress, and since I'm such a loser I have a hard time finding ways to get where I want.
But that won't stop me.
In a way I found POSITIVE things about me not getting in,
First, I would have only had 8 classmates.
I would get bored and tired of them, I need more people to be around for me to learn how to socialize more.
As I said here in the video. There is always next year.
The only reason why I'm in such a rush is because I want my grandparents to see me become something big. I love my grandparents a lot.
I grew up with them when my parents couldn't be around.
And they are growing old and I'm scared I won't make it in time.
Even though they tell me they are happy to see me alive and well, that I'm trying, that I'm putting all my strength into studies, I still do become frustrated and angry about the time.
About the fact that it goes so fast and I may still live for another 70 years.
But my grandparents, and my parents won't.
I'm not only doing this for myself, but for those who help me stand up when I fall.
I had many thoughts about myself being worthless and not fit to be in this world.
That I'm some sort of mistake here.
I'm sure you had those too.
But even though I got let down in my first ever attempt, tell me why should I not try harder?
Life sucks, but it's fair, because it's unfair to everyone.
Yes, many have schedules.
They need to do this and that in two days.
They need to become this and that in five years.
But I do know one thing.
They never give up.
So what if I got let down.
That means I wasn't trying my hardest, and I know what I should do next time.
This is also my encouragement to everyone else who is struggling to get to the top.
Or get into University.
Don't give up.
Your grades not enough? Go study again.
And again.
And AGAIN if you have to.
I may sit at home and not do anything at all.
I may be an outsider at school and have absolutely no friends.
I may have a hard temper and scare people away
I may be this and that.
But I'm ambitious and I'm sure about who I am and I believe in myself.
And so should you.
So, for me, it doesn't matter if I got in or not.
That doesn't prove that I'm not good enough.
That just means, I need more experience, I need to improve to become better than ''good enough''
And so should you.
Be it acting or singing.
Drawing or doctor.
There will be many battles in your life.
Everyday you'll have to battle with different things.
You'll win, you'll lose.
But that shouldn't stop you from doing what you love.
That is something I have learned in this small rejection.
I lost the battle but sure as heck I'm going to win the war.
So I encourage everyone who reads this to not give up.
And for those who wish, help others to pull them back on their feet.
If there is anything you can do, help them out.
Because that's what humanity should be these days.
Not just you and your family stuck in one house and fuck everyone else because humanity can't be trust it.
It's true, it can't.
You'll just have to take risks.
Some people are worth risking for.
If you risk for the right person, no doubt they will help you in time too.
AMBITIOUS!
That's what I am.
It's a way of telling myself that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
HA! I told ya it would be some serious talk!
Follow me on FaceBook to see more videos and more crap in my life!
I'm thinking of starting that damned YouTube Channel I talked about! x.x
After the exams are over, I'll try to work on it!
That's all for now guys!
Stay Tuned and Stay Awake!
The only reason why I'm in such a rush is because I want my grandparents to see me become something big. I love my grandparents a lot.
I grew up with them when my parents couldn't be around.
And they are growing old and I'm scared I won't make it in time.
Even though they tell me they are happy to see me alive and well, that I'm trying, that I'm putting all my strength into studies, I still do become frustrated and angry about the time.
About the fact that it goes so fast and I may still live for another 70 years.
But my grandparents, and my parents won't.
I'm not only doing this for myself, but for those who help me stand up when I fall.
I had many thoughts about myself being worthless and not fit to be in this world.
That I'm some sort of mistake here.
I'm sure you had those too.
But even though I got let down in my first ever attempt, tell me why should I not try harder?
Life sucks, but it's fair, because it's unfair to everyone.
Yes, many have schedules.
They need to do this and that in two days.
They need to become this and that in five years.
But I do know one thing.
They never give up.
So what if I got let down.
That means I wasn't trying my hardest, and I know what I should do next time.
This is also my encouragement to everyone else who is struggling to get to the top.
Or get into University.
Don't give up.
Your grades not enough? Go study again.
And again.
And AGAIN if you have to.
I may sit at home and not do anything at all.
I may be an outsider at school and have absolutely no friends.
I may have a hard temper and scare people away
I may be this and that.
But I'm ambitious and I'm sure about who I am and I believe in myself.
And so should you.
So, for me, it doesn't matter if I got in or not.
That doesn't prove that I'm not good enough.
That just means, I need more experience, I need to improve to become better than ''good enough''
And so should you.
Be it acting or singing.
Drawing or doctor.
There will be many battles in your life.
Everyday you'll have to battle with different things.
You'll win, you'll lose.
But that shouldn't stop you from doing what you love.
That is something I have learned in this small rejection.
I lost the battle but sure as heck I'm going to win the war.
So I encourage everyone who reads this to not give up.
And for those who wish, help others to pull them back on their feet.
If there is anything you can do, help them out.
Because that's what humanity should be these days.
Not just you and your family stuck in one house and fuck everyone else because humanity can't be trust it.
It's true, it can't.
You'll just have to take risks.
Some people are worth risking for.
If you risk for the right person, no doubt they will help you in time too.
AMBITIOUS!
That's what I am.
It's a way of telling myself that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
HA! I told ya it would be some serious talk!
Follow me on FaceBook to see more videos and more crap in my life!
I'm thinking of starting that damned YouTube Channel I talked about! x.x
After the exams are over, I'll try to work on it!
That's all for now guys!
Stay Tuned and Stay Awake!
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